Whenever you read a news story about Married Life verses Single Life, you’re constantly told married people are happier, healthier, and live longer and a two-parent environment is better for children. That’s, umm, not actually true. Any of it.
Which is good for the 96 million unmarried Americans and the 11.6 million kids that live with them! Since 2005, unmarried households outnumber married households in America. And in the 2000 Census, unmarried Topekans outnumbered the married people! And in 2002, Governor Bill Graves proclaimed Unmarried and Single Americans Week right here in Kansas!
We make up 40% of the workforce and are more likely than our married counterparts to be uninsured. We are more racially diverse. Most of us never married. Many of us live with a partner. And most of us with partners intend to marry them. Most of us are under 65. Those of us who have never married are more likely visit our family. We’re more likely to socialize and give practical advice. Three of every ten grandparents raising their grandchildren are unmarried. We make up 1/3 of voters and tend to vote Democratic.
Yet when we turn on the TV or read a magazine, we’re told that we’re doing it wrong, especially if we have kids. We’re told that we hate commitment, spread disease, or that we’re not the foundation of society, marriage is. We form a wide-array of relationships, but those are not considered as valid, if they are valid at all, as opposite-sex legal marriage.
Though that doesn’t seem to be hurting some famous unmarried Americans! Maureen Dowd, Harriet Meiers, Janet Napoliano, Condolezza Rice, and David Souter are all solo singles. Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Martin van Bruen, and James Buchanan were all unmarried when they served as President of the United States. Some unmarried opposite-sex couples plan to marry as soon as same-sex couples can in the US such as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend. Though Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, Sam Shepard and Jessica Lange have no intentions to marry. And, of course, same-sex couples can’t marry in most states.
Society is designed for married people, and single people face several challenges. From 1988 until 1997, Kansas tax law taxed single Kansans more. When the bill to change this came to the floor of the Senate, state Senator Laurie Bleeker said she would vote for it because she supports “returning surplus dollars to the taxpayer” but not for the fairness of it.
However, I believe that we must acknowledge the larger scope of this issue. The singles taxpayer issue has been framed in a context of fairness. In the interest of fairness, we must recognize the inequality of the federal tax code which pushes married couples into a higher tax bracket. Our tax system has been built on the assumed ability to pay, so that people in higher brackets are taxed at a greater rate. If we are consistent, then we would agree that many singles, without the financial responsibility of raising children, do have the advantage of more discretionary income and ability to pay.
The 20.2% of Kansas children who live in single parent households might disagree with this lack of “financial responsibility of raising children” their parents have.
Over the course of this week, I will be blogging about four groups of singles and some of the challenges they face: unmarried partners, same-sex couples, single parents, and unmarried seniors.
Until then, enjoy some fun info from the Alternatives to Marriage Project and theCouncil on Contemporary Families!
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